Zebra
by Undeletable
Summary: A series of short, unrelated one-shots, each one focusing on a different character or two.
1. Chapter 1: Loud or Silent

**Zebra**

Chapter 1 – Loud or Silent

"I can be loud man, or I can be silent" – _Zebra_, John Butler Trio

* * *

As per usual, Captain Falcon was doing his taunts. As per usual, it was after he had just KO'd 3 people in one Falcon Punch. And as per usual the crowd loved it. One person, however, did not. Quite understandable, considering he was one of those that got KO'd. But that was not the reason he wasn't enjoying things right now. Oh no, he loved a battle, did Snake! The reason manifested itself within the damn _taunting_. Snake wasn't one for too many words. Strong silent type, shall we say. It was amazing he hadn't just thrown himself over the side of the Green Greens stage yet (there was another thing he didn't like. Far too bright and happy), but his survival instinct was telling him to stick it out.

"Show me your moves!" …Not that sticking it out was all that easy when a certain loud man was still taunting. Oh, how he wished he could just sit under his cardboard box for the battle! He'd already tried, however, which had merely resulted in Pikachu, one of the others on the stage along with the strangely unenergetic (and dark…and red eyed) Toon Link, constantly sending a Thunder Jolt his way as soon as he got under the box. Annoying little rodent that it was.

However! Pikachu was still not as annoying as the incessant (oh how Snake loved that word) taunting of the Captain. After some time of just "running" (if that is not a contradiction of terms) around the stage Snake decided that, as the old adage suggested, the best form of defence was attack. Not that attacking the Captain would be all that easy, for he could merely run away if necessary, although he didn't seem like the sort of person who would run from a fight.

Unless it was against Samus. Understandable. Her attacks could hurt.

Close combat was out of the question, which Snake soon realised was more of an advantage than he first thought. That taunting (the Captain was still at it…how anyone could withstand repeating a statement for so long was beyond comprehension) was starting to frazzle his brain.

Grenades and rockets, then? Good idea. Snake proceeded to start throwing and shooting, as you do with grenades. The Captain seemed incapable of comprehending that he was being attack from beyond a range of 2 metres and started throwing out Falcon Punches again. He seemed to creep closer to Snake, but in the end was KO'd by a rocket to the head. Snake resisted the urge to yell "headshot", and merely smiled (and grunted, for that was quiet enough) before acquiring his next target.

Pikachu was a bit noisy for his tastes, really.

* * *

**This is being written purely for my benefit, so I don't have the urge to write small one-shots if I feel like it, instead using all the ideas at once. Technically I am actually still writing one-shots when I feel like it, but I will ignore that. So that I don't have to write as often (so to speak). This is written very much how I enjoy writing, that is, not necessarily in a way that is smooth and flowing. To some extent. Sometimes a bit rushed, but that's how I write. My brain spews forth, so to speak.**

**As for the title and quote at the start, the story basically revolves around the opposites sang about in the song Zebra by the John Butler Trio. Quite enjoyable to write about.**

**Adiós.**


	2. Chapter 2: Young or Old

**Zebra**

Chapter 2 – Young or Old

"I could be young man or I could be old" – _Zebra_, John Butler Trio

* * *

He was feeling the wind against his face as he was moving with great speed towards his opponent. He was Ganondorf, and damn he felt fast. Of course, this belied the fact that most two year olds could match his speed. He was not a young man, and therefore his running was not exactly going to be top notch.

The armour didn't help, of course. It was heavy enough to crush most humans, so it wasn't going to be easy to run with, even for a creature such as Ganondorf.

But did he realise how poor his pace was? It didn't seem like it, for he did his running (if that is not a contradiction of terms) towards his opponent before using one of his slower attacks. I say slower because he lacks the pace in his attacks to call any of them fast, something he also didn't seem to recognise.

* * *

His opponent, however, did have pace. Who was his opponent? None other than Marth, who was actually quite content to run and jump around the stage and have Ganondorf try to follow. It couldn't be easy for an old man such as him, but hey, he was the one who allowed himself to be subjected to all the running, he couldn't complain.

As he watched Ganondorf move towards him he managed to do a nice big stretch and a few spins before actually having to dodge an attack. That one was probably a bit too close to getting him for comfort, his damage was already quite high from a couple of smart bombs exploding a bit earlier. So off from the side of the stage he jumped, running up to the middle platform. Battlefield was quite good for people like him. Ganondorf seemed to pause for a bit and look something from just behind where Marth had jumped from, but Marth ignored this, as he figured that his opponent was merely pausing for breath, as running 30m was surely going to wear him out. As Marth started looking around the stage for something interesting to look at he noticed that there was a rather big hand resting on his neck.

Well, resting is probably the wrong word, as choking someone was not a good example of resting.

He would blame his lack of a proper word to use on the hand, as it was restricting air flow to, er, his brain. Apparently. After some time of being choked Marth moved his head to look directly at Ganondorf and give him the evil eye. This was not successful against one of the most evil people (or was, he wasn't sure if Ganondorf was still evil anymore) ever to walk (slowly) on the planet. He also vaguely noticed that Ganondorf's face looked different to normal, but was more focused on getting out of this stranglehold. After a few seconds longer Ganondorf did drop him, and the first thing that came to mind to Marth was simply to _run._

This was logical, as Ganondorf could not chase him. So off he ran, to the far side of the stage…but much to his dismay, Ganondorf kept up with him. Despite confusing him to no end, Marth put that at the back of his mind and focused on putting distance between him and Ganondorf. He really, really did not want to face Ganondorf in close combat when his damage was so high.

However, no matter how hard he tried to get away from this usually quick Ganondorf, he could not. It lasted for some time, resembling something out of Benny Hill. In the end it was Marth who lost out. He slipped up while trying to do a U-turn, and by the time he got back up Ganondorf had managed to charge his Warlock Punch. Needless to say, Marth was flying a little under half a second later. And, as he was flying away, it occurred to him exactly what it was about Ganondorf's face that had changed.

On the very top of his head, concealed slightly by his red hair, lay two rather cute looking bunny ears.

Ganondorf laughed. That got them every time. Being old still had plenty of perks.

* * *

**Yes.**

**If you are wondering what the bunny ears are, they are from a Bunny Hood. But I'm hoping you were able to figure that one out for yourself, as well as how he got it. I often make people read between the lines.  
**


	3. Chapter 3: Gentle or Violent

**Zebra**

Chapter 3 – Gentle or Violent

"I can be a gentleman, I can be violent" – _Zebra_, John Butler Trio

* * *

Bowser was stuck.

Not physically (although that would be easy for him, lumbering giant that he is), he was stuck mentally.

And it was all because of his opponent.

Which cruel, cruel being devised him to have a one on one special brawl at 300% damage with Peach?

Probably Master Hand. He'd have a good roar at him later…assuming that he didn't win this.

He shouldn't win it, really. If it his opponent was anyone else he would've relished the chance to KO them many times over. However, his opponent just happened to be someone whom he had kidnapped many times over, and had become rather…_interesting _to him (when asked about Peach, however, he will often give a sharp glare to the person who asked, often making them take a few steps back and move on).

He'd done a good job of staying out of any battles against Peach, and had even managed one team battle with her (he enjoyed that immensely). That's, what, 7 months? Eight? All for nothing!

Although, what exactly was he planning for? Who knew how long he would asked to do battles?

Never mind. He instead focuses on the battle.

What would he do? Attack her? Or let her win, because he could not attack her?

…

He decided on violence. It suited him better.

…Begin!

…

…

…

Gah!

How was he meant to focus when she kept taunting him like that?

That little dance that she does.

It was un-nerving!

After a while he just stops trying to move altogether, completely hypnotised by Peach. Violent turtle, he was not. He seemed almost peaceful (not completely peaceful, for he could not be).

Not being as violent as he normally was, however, had aside effect. His lack of movement also meant he struggled to stay focused, which meant he didn't notice when Peach moved towards him rather suddenly and kicked him.

Normally that wouldn't do much to him, send him backwards a few metres at most, but this was, as you should be aware, no normal situation. As he flew off the stage he vowed to himself to not let her do that again.

He never was very good at keeping vows.

Time and time again the entranced Koopa King would be hypnotised (for that is the word) by Peach, and each time he would be sent flying.

It was 3 minutes of torture.

By the end he was rather annoyed at himself and left for his home (via the wonderful portals that they had) with haste.

He felt rather pathetic.

And as he was pondering at his home (fire and all), he figured that he now knew what it felt like to be Luigi.

The poor guy.

* * *

**Ah, Bowser.**

**He is rather amusing because he always seems to be pathetic at anything other than being scary.**

**Also, a note on the portals: I loathe (generally) the idea of one big mansion that everyone lives in that play in Brawl. I can tolerate it if it isn't the main setting, but, on the whole, I don't like it at all. I prefer the idea that each character has a certain portable portal (alliteration woo) they can carry around with them, so they can go from their home to the battle arena very quickly. Or something like that. How else would you explain the entrances they make?**

**Just in case you were wondering. (Which you probably weren't.)**

**Not overly pleased with this chapter, but that's the way it goes.**


	4. Chapter 4: Hot or Cold

**Zebra**

Chapter 4 – Hot or Cold

"I could turn hot man, or I can be cold" – _Zebra_, John Butler Trio

* * *

Popo was very, very sure that he was going to melt on the spot.

You probably would too if you, like him, were subjected to a flamethrower from a giant…animal…thing, when you were far more used to temperature's below freezing.

As the giant-animal-thing-better-known-as-Charizard's flamethrower died out Popo took the opportunity to get him and Nana away from…_it_.

No matter how hard they had been trying to attack…_it_…in some way, Charizard just kept pushing them back with its flamethrower, leaving them hot and bothered before cooling themselves off with a blizzard and then repeating the process. This had been going on now for almost 3 minutes, and there was absolutely no way that the pair of them could possibly get an attack on him without being burnt.

As Popo was just about to being jumping off the stage over and over again (a far better option than being subjected to more burning), the Pokémon Trainer had a look at the time passed, and proceeded to withdraw Charizard, and instead sent in Squirtle. Popo just stared, at least until Nana, who was also rather surprised, hit him over the head so he could focus again.

Popo shook his head to clear it (which was really quite silly when he thought about it, but he would not think about it, for he was already starting to confuse himself), and quickly figured that there would be no harm in being shot at with a bit of water, and so ran towards Squirtle and started attacking it.

But, while the water didn't do much to the Ice Climbers, nor did their ice do much to the Squirtle, which left them in a sort of stalemate. The water was often just warm enough to melt the ice, put was also stopped in its tracks by that very ice, meaning that neither brawler really did any damage to the other.

A bomb exploded somewhere. The crowd woke up.

And as it hit the 6 minute mark of what was one of the longest battles ever seen, the Pokémon Trainer again recalled his Pokémon, replacing it with Ivysaur. The glint in Popo's eye was almost visible from space as he and Nana made up for lost time earlier, putting the boot into the poor grass type and using their ice attacks to great effect. All Ivysaur could do was hope to survive being KOed, which was hard enough for anyone after 3 minutes, let alone the 9 that was coming up.

Popo also noted that the 9 minute mark was almost upon them, but did not seem to put 2 and 2 together, as, when it hit 9, he went charging straight for Ivysaur. Except it was no longer Ivysaur. In Ivysaur's place was Charizard again. Never before has a smile escaped from someone's face so quickly. One quick smash attack (WITH FLAMES; ROAR FLAMES, or perhaps even RAW FLAMES) later, and Popo was considering whether his climbing time would've been better spent learning how to multiply. Or add up.

He really needed to find a good school. Maybe it'd help him deal with heat as well…

* * *

**One of the harder ones to write, this one. Hot or cold sounds easy…but it wasn't. For me at least.**

**Took a while to think of an idea, as well as put it into action.**

**As for the battle…let's just say that neither the Pokémon nor the Ice Climbers were dealing smash attacks on each other, hence why there was no KO until…right near the end. Yeah.**

**As a side note: Where on earth would the Ice Climbers have got an education from? Is there someone who knows, someone who is more knowledgeable than I am in Ice Climberology (which wouldn't take much knowledge, but anyhoo)?  
**


	5. Chapter 5: Calm

**Zebra**

Chapter 5 – Calm

"I could be just like the calm before the storm, boy, waiting for all hell yeah to break loose" – _Zebra_, John Butler Trio

* * *

Lucario was, as per usual, completely relaxed.

It did not matter to him that he was up against 3 of the toughest opponents going around in Meta Knight, Snake and Falco. If anything, it made him more relaxed, knowing that he wasn't likely to win.

The other three were going hell-for-leather at each other, leaving nothing to chance.

They had, however, seemingly all agreed that Lucario was going to be their punching bag. If one of them got KO'd, they would take their frustration out on Lucario. He was flying around the stage quite often.

Of course, he didn't get KO'd every single time he was attacked, and managed to get a few himself, but it was now at the stage where he was on high damage, but was now considered unimportant by the others with only a small amount of time left on the clock. Better to focus on each other, they thought.

He was fine with that. Calm about it, shall we say.

They seem to have completely forgotten that he was more powerful when he had higher damage. Sure, he couldn't win, but he might as well have some fun while it lasted.

Rather conveniently, a Smash Ball appeared quite close to him, too far away for the others to get at, and he rather quickly destroyed it.

It seemed to only click in the others minds then that Lucario's final smash would be very, very strong at 125% damage. Only then did they begin a frantic dash to_ get as far away as possible._

Lucario smiled and started his attack.

He was no longer the calm.

He was the storm.

* * *

**Shortest one yet. Not too bad either.**


End file.
